PART III
CHAPTER I
ON MARRIAGE
WHEN a girl of the same caste, and a virgin, is
married in accordance with the precepts of Holy Writ, the results of
such a union are the acquisition of Dharma and Artha, offspring,
affinity, increase of friends, and untarnished love. For this reason a
man should fix his affections upon a girl who is of good family, whose
parents are alive, and who is three years or more younger than himself.
She should be born of a highly respectable family, possessed of wealth,
well connected, and with many relations and friends. She should also be
beautiful, of a good disposition, with lucky marks on her body, and with
good hair, nails, teeth, ears, eyes and breasts, neither more nor less
than they ought to be, and no one of them entirely wanting, and not
troubled with a sickly body. The man should, of course, also possess
these qualities himself. But at all events, says Ghotakamukha, a girl
who has been already joined with others (i.e. no longer a maiden) should
never be loved, for it would be reproachable to do such a thing.
Now in order to bring about a marriage with
such a girl as described above, thee parents and relations of the man
should exert themselves, as also such friends on both sides as may be
desired to assist in the matter. These friends should bring to the
notice of the girl's parents, the faults, both present and future, of
all the other men that may wish to marry her, and should at the same
time extol even to exaggeration all the excellencies, ancestral, and
paternal, of their friend, so as to endear him to them, and particularly
to those that may be liked by the girl's mother. One of the friends
should also disguise himself as an astrologer, and declare the future
good fortune and wealth of his friend by showing the existence of all
the lucky omens 1
and signs, 2
the good influence of planets, the auspicious entrance of the sun into a
sign of the Zodiac, propitious stars and fortunate marks on his body.
Others again should rouse the jealousy of the girl's mother by telling
her that their friend has a chance of getting from some other quarter
even a better girl than hers.
A girl should be taken as a wife, as also given
in marriage, when fortune, signs, omens, and the words 3
of others are favourable, for, says Ghotakamukha, a man should not marry
at any time he likes. A girl who is asleep, crying, or gone out of the
house when sought in marriage, or who is betrothed to another, should
not be married. The following also should be avoided:
- One who is kept concealed
- One who has an ill-sounding name
- One who has her nose depressed
- One who has her nostril turned up
- One who is formed like a male
- One who is bent down
- One who has crooked thighs
- One who has a projecting forehead
- One who has a bald head
- One who does not like purity
- One who has been polluted by another
- One who is affected with the Gulma 4
- One who is disfigured in any way
- One who has fully arrived at puberty
- One who is a friend
- One who is a younger sister
- One who is a Varshakari 5
In the same way a girl who is called by the
name of one of the twenty-seven stars, or by the name of a tree, or of a
river, is considered worthless, as also a girl whose name ends in 'r' or
'l'. But some authors say that prosperity is gained only by marrying
that girl to whom one becomes attached, and that therefore no other girl
but the one who is loved should be married by anyone.
When a girl becomes marriageable her parents
should dress her smartly, and should place her where she can be easily
seen by all. Every afternoon, having dressed her and decorated her in a
becoming manner, they should send her with her female companions to
sports, sacrifices, and marriage ceremonies, and thus show her to
advantage in society, because she is a kind of merchandise. They should
also receive with kind words and signs of friendliness those of an
auspicious appearance who may come accompanied by their friends and
relations for the purpose of marrying their daughter, and under some
pretext or other having first dressed her becomingly, should then
present her to them. After this they should await the pleasure of
fortune, and with this object should appoint a future day on which a
determination could be come to with regard to their daughter's marriage.
On this occasion when the persons have come, the parents of the girl
should ask them to bathe and dine, and should say, 'Everything will take
place at the proper time', and should not then comply with the request,
but should settle the matter later.
When a girl is thus acquired, either according
to the custom of the country, or according to his own desire, the man
should marry her in accordance with the precepts of the Holy Writ,
according to one of the four kinds of marriage.
Thus ends marriage.
There are also some verses on the subject as
follows:
'Amusement in society, such as completing
verses begun by others, marriages, and auspicious ceremonies should be
carried on neither with superiors, nor inferiors, but with our equals.
That should be known as a high connection when a man, after marrying a
girl, has to serve her and her relations afterwards like a servant, and
such a connection is censured by the good. On the other hand, that
reproachable connection, where a man, together with his relations, lords
it over his wife, is called a low connection by the wise. But when both
the man and the woman afford mutual pleasure to each other, and when the
relatives on both sides pay respect to one another, such is called a
connection in the proper sense of the word. Therefore a man should
contract neither a high connection by which he is obliged to bow down
afterwards to his kinsmen, nor a low connection, which is universally
reprehended by all.'
Footnotes
1 The flight of a
blue jay on a person's left side is considered a lucky omen when one
starts on any business; the appearance of a cat before anyone at such a
time is looked on as a bad omen. There are many omens of the same kind.
2 Such as the
throbbing of the right eye of men and the left eye of women, etc.
3 Before anything
is begun it is a custom to go early in the morning to a neighbour's
house, and overhear the first words that may be spoken in his family,
and according as the words heard are of good or bad import, to draw an
inference as to the success or failure of the undertaking.
4 A disease
consisting of any glandular enlargement in any part of the body.
5 A woman, the
palms of whose hands and the soles of whose feet are always perspiring.
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